A weird old week that was!!

It's Friday - what a week - up and down like a fiddlers elbow as they say.  Not much to show today as it's been a bit of a funny old week, although whoo hoo this year I have made 11, yes 11 Mother's Day Cards for some very lovely customers - and thank you so much each and every one of you.  So it's just a card I made the other week and didn't get round to showing it.  Speaks for itself really.

IRONY

First off thank you so much girls for your loyal support and encouragement - bit of a down day yesterday and just had to have a blast off.

Now here's a good un - do you know the meaning of Irony - incongruity between what might be expected and what actually occurs.
I had my doctor's appointment yesterday and my blood pressure was still sky high and so like millions of others now on the tablets.  The joys of getting older.  Luckily, I am 60 in June, so at least then I won't have to pay anymore, unless the government moves the goal posts like they have with my pension.
The other was the minor health problem.  I've had a funny blotch on my nose for a few months and it wasn't going away.  It seems it might be a skin cancer - here's the ironic bit.  I cover myself in high factor sunscreen, I don't sunbathe and always sit in the shade, whereas my sister prostrates herself for hours and hours and literally bakes and who gets the skin cancer - me!! or is it sods law - a facetious precept stating that if something can go wrong or turn out inconveniently it will.  Also know as Murphy's Law (whoever he might be).

Who stole my confidence

Another little snippet baring my soul to the world.

Had no sleep last night for some reason I cannot fathom, so it always makes me feel a bit sickly and not right the next day.  The feeling in my stomach is like when you 'feel something bad is about to happen'.  My blood pressure was 166 over 105 which is stupidly high - some action is needed.

David and I both got the flu which had us housebound for almost two weeks.  The cough is still there, but much better.  Then Dave was back at work for a week and got food poisoning, so was then off for 3 days.  All with no pay, being self-employed.  2 weeks ago he then caught the chicken pox virus on the left side of his face; his face blew up like a football and it was in his mouth and in his eyes - he looked a right mess.  It is slowly getting better, but he is suffering nerve pain which is pretty bad.  Off for a further two weeks.  I've been nursemaid medicating him up.  If anything he should be the one that feels rubbish!!

My dad is slowly declining - pretty thin now.  He is bed bound all the time and now cannot raise his arms at all without pain, poor old soul.  Don't know if he recognizes us or not.  There isn't any communication going on.  I hate going, but feel guilty if I don't go.  I just feel constantly stressed and upset.  Also having to try and deal with anger issues over the lack of help from my brother and his family, which doesn't help.

Somehow each year just gets harder and harder to cope with.  I'm not very good now at dealing with anything remotely out of my comfort zone.  I feel a right woosey not being able to handle life's issues. I've made an appointment with the doctor for this afternoon as I've been monitoring my blood pressure and nowadays it is constantly elevated and sometimes very high.  I'm sure the emotional stress is affecting it.

I saw an NLP therapist for 6 weeks who tried teaching me ways of handling my problems.  When I actually saw her I was fine, but when these issues arise everything she tells me to do just goes straight out the window - all the breathing, focus and visualization stuff.  When I feel panicky and sick I just cannot do it.  I feel I have exhausted all options now and don't know what to do to get a grip.  It's not even as though I have real huge problems.  Yeah, no money coming in at the moment, but we save and so there is something to fall back on.  No major health issues, a couple of minor ones to sort this afternoon.  Most people of our age have parent problems.  So why can't I cope like anyone else.  I so hate me as I am now.

If only I was me in my mind, when I was 20.  Confident and capable.  

Are you more confident and happy in your skin as you got older ?

Good Morning

Done the chores, cleaned the kitchen, cleaned the bathroom, done the ironing -

Now this old dog is having me time and a nice soak in the bath!!

Breaking Up

Had a good day in the garden yesterday pulling up ground elder and snipping and chopping.  Why is it that plants struggle, but that pesky old ground elder just keeps growing and growing.......also managed to get the first cut of the year in for the grass.  Ah, life's circle - talking of which.
We have a garden table and six chairs.  Two for us, two for mum and dad and two for daughter and husband.  Now one of the chairs, and only one, is starting to break down and crumble from the inside.  So soon there will only be 5.  Dave said, almost symbolic of my dad there - he is also breaking down and crumbling from the inside out.  So this is Dad's chair.  It now sits at the bottom of the garden looking back towards the house and will stay there till it falls apart or my Dad has gone.